Reoccurring Addictions and Parallel Circumstances
by StarvelingTheTailor
Summary: ON HIATUS...SORRY.
1. Chapter 1

Reoccurring Addictions and Parallel Circumstances

Summary: Sasuke is in Rehab, and is supposed to be recovering from cocaine addiction. He keeps back-sliding, and his mental health is at steak. Will Kakashi, his therapist, be able to save him? Or will it take a certain blonde pothead to get Sasuke back on track?

ANGST—SasuNaru later on—rated for drugs and implied rape--

Why? Ha. Well, let's just say this: it's just unreal.

Artificial, fabricated, false, fictitious. Something so blissfully far from reality that everything bad that's ever happened fades away, throwing you into any lovely illusion you like. You forget about everything. It all fades into the background.

Of course I didn't tell my shrink this when he asked my why I started doing cocaine. No, I just scoffed at him and lay back on his (rather comfortable, actually) sofa. He sighed, obviously frustrated with my silence, and pushed up his (hideous) glasses.

"Alright, then…let's just talk about-"

"You really are _not_ a good therapist, are you?

"Excuse me?"

I laughed. "You can't get all pissy every time one of your clients doesn't spill their guts for you." I got up and padded quietly out, leaving 'the doctor' to his (dull) thoughts.

I opened the door of room 38A at the Konoha City Drug and Alcohol Rehabilitation Center, feeling a cool (freezing), (un)welcoming blast of super-chilled, negative-one-and-a-half-degree A.C. air as I entered. I ran to the tiny bathroom immediately, shoving four fingers down my throat as I ran. I threw up violently in the toilet, clutching the bowl as if for dear life. I swear I don't know why I do these things…I just do.

I lay on the floor next to the toilet (I don't know for how long); I completely forgot where I was…until I started shaking like a madman. I got up and practically flung myself across the room, kneeling in front of the small bed-side table, rummaging through one of the drawers.

Eyes wide, I stared at my trembling hand, biting back tears that threatened to spill onto the plastic baggie on the floor beneath me.

_I can't do this…I can't do this…I cant-_

"_Sasuke-kun_, _come on…"_ _A voice from behind me, sending chills up my spine_ "_Just one line…then all the pain will go away…I promise"_

_I began to cry. I wasn't entirely sure why…maybe it was the cloudy mirror with a neat little line of what looked like chalkdust on it being pushed under my nose, or the fact that I couldn't breathe with a significantly larger body pressing me up against a rough brick wall, or maybe it was the icy cold hand under my shirt, rubbing circles on my stomach. _

_Whatever it was, I cried. I was afraid, and sad, and alone. _

_I was released from the wall, and fell to the ground, sobbing. Orochimaru lifted me up by the front of my shirt, I was back up against the wall. _

"_Sniff." He hissed at me, I sniffed. My nose, my throat, and my brain were on fire. I couldn't think. I tried to understand what the sounds from behind me were and where I was and how come I was being pressed against a brick wall again and again, and why it hurt so much…but I just couldn't think. _

My hands were still shaking. I heard screaming. I only realized that it was me yelling when the door slammed open. I panicked.

Clutching the baggie to my chest, I fell into a fetal position. Four men dressed in white and navy bum-rushed me, wrenching the bag from my hands and dragging me towards the door. I made desperate grabs for the bag while struggling against their vice-like grips. I screamed as loud as I could. Suddenly, I was in a brick-lined hallway, icy hands holding me down. I cried and I screamed and I kicked, but it was no use; A hand was pressed against my mouth, trying to silence me. I bit down. Hard. I didn't let go until I tasted blood, and even then, I bit down harder, wanting to hurt those sickeningly pale hands as much as they had hurt me.

There was yelling. Not me, for once. No, someone else. I opened my eyes to see a bulky man in a white uniform doubled over in pain, hand covered in blood. I hit the floor as the other uniform-clad men rushed to his side, calling for a paramedic. I stayed quiet. I crawled over and sat against the wall in the hallway, crying silently.

After a while, someone familiar came. He touched the back of his hand to my cheek gently; he always does that. He took my shaking hands in his and spoke to me quietly (I don't know what he said, though). There was some silence, then my therapist picked me up and carried me to his office.

"Sasuke, I want you to listen to me…"

I wasn't listening, though. I was lying on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket with my hands over my ears. It had been like that for the past hour.

"Sasuke…" my therapist tried to reason with me.

I shook my head quickly, tangling my hair even more. "I want to sleep…"

"Well, you can't. Not until you talk to me."

"…"

"Sasuke, if we don't make any progress here, you'll have to go on medication again." He reached out to touch my hair, but I turned away. "And I know how you hate taking your meds…"

I sat up. My hands were still shaking. "Kakashi...Will. You. _Please_…take those goddamn glasses OFF?" I glared at him.

My shrink's one visible eyebrow raised (he had a huge eye patch over half of his face), and removed the (nauseating) glasses. "Are they really that bad?" he ran his hands through his own silver hair.

"Yes." I looked down at him; he was kneeling in front of me, but a little off to the side, holding my left hand in his right.

"How old are you, Sasuke?" he squeezed my hand gently.

"You _know _how-"

"I want to hear you say it." I could see him taking notes in his head.

"fifthmmn"

"What?"

"I'm fifteen"

"Good. How long have you been in Rehab?"

"A year."

"And how long were you doing drugs before that?

"Five years."

"How old would that make you when you started doing drugs?"

"Nine." I wasn't looking at Kakashi. I couldn't. I knew what he was doing- trying to make me see just how tragic it was that someone so young had started cocaine. Of course, I already knew.

"What was going on in your life…when you were nine?"

"I was…going to school…living alone…"

"Anything else?

"No."

About fifteen minutes of silence passed before Kakashi asked me another question.

"Have you been using the journal I got you?"

I nodded. Kakashi stood, letting go of my hand, walked to the door, and said something to someone standing just outside it. When he sat back down, this time on the sofa next to me, I still felt as if I was alone in the room. I held out my hand in front of him, palm up. He looked confused for a moment, but then understanding flooded his face (at least the visible half) and he smiled.

"If you want me to hold your hand, just ask."

I said nothing.

"We've been over this, Sasuke; you need to _say_ what you're thinking when ever you're in this room."

"…holdmyhand…" I mumbled as quietly as I could.

"Well, it's a start..." Kakashi took my hand (which was still shaking, by the way) in his. I noticed how small my hand looked in his. It made me really sad.

Just then, my journal was brought in, and set on the little table in front of Kakashi. He picked it up and set it on my lap. I looked at him. "Before we talk about the journal, can you tell me why you always want me to hold your hand?"

"No."

"Sasuke…"

"I don't know…" I did know. I just didn't say. The truth was that, well, I had to hold on to something (someone), have some physical contact, so I could focus on the here and now, so I wouldn't fall into the abyss of my own mind.

sigh "Well, then let's see the journal." He gestured for me to open it. "What have you done since last time?"

I opened the little book to a page near the middle (it was marked by one of hose string thingies), and handed it to him.

Kakashi flipped through the pages, scrutinizing each one of my sketches. There was a picture of a cat that kept reappearing on my windowsill, one of me, sitting on my bed, hands folded, and three of Kakashi himself. In one picture, he was smiling, in one he was sleeping, and in one, he was angry with me. In the angry picture, his hair was a little more droopy, his eye(s) sharper, and the visible half of his face was twisted with rage behind long bangs.

"Why am I so angry in this picture?" there was hurt in his voice. I didn't answer. "Hmm?"

I gave a half-hearted shrug.

"Sasuke, I'm never angry with you. And I would never hurt you. Never. Do you know that?" He released my hand to run his own through my hair: a comforting gesture I'd come to enjoy over the months. I nodded. Kakashi was like a father to me. Of course he would never hurt me. But then again, that's exactly what I thought about everyone else who ever betrayed me.

How'd you like it? Good? Bad? Terrible? Should I continue?

Flames and constructive criticism are welcomed.

IN THE NEXT CHAPTER

Naruto is in Rehab for a few months, and a chance meeting in the cafeteria will change both his and Sasuke's lives forever. Also, Kakashi seems to be a little _too_ friendly with Naruto's mentor, Iruka…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two…….

They said it was either here or jail. I kinda wanted to go to jail, but Iruka dragged me over to the Centre before I had a chance to protest. I was stuck in rehab for a month and a half. (A month and a half…can you believe that?!) I was pissed; I mean, _everyone _drinks underage…seriously. Try and find any self-respecting teenager who doesn't.

Anyway, I was bored out of my skull for about the first week, even more so since I was on 'punishment' for two days 'cuz I asked the guy at the front desk if he had any weed. I was just asking, for heaven's sake. I had to stay in my room for the whole two days…with Iruka lecturing me on how I "should really take this seriously, Naruto" and…and, well, I really wasn't paying attention.

So, like I said, the first week was terrible. That is, until I met _him_.

I was in the cafeteria, when I saw him sitting alone at the back of the room, writing in a book thingie. High cheekbones, creamy skin, onyx eyes, midnight hair...very intriguing. I was staring, and held up the food line, causing somewhat of a traffic jam, sending me

crashing to the floor. Ouch.

I got up, abandoning my food, and walked over to his table. I stopped opposite him and stood there. When he didn't look up, I walked around the table and sat down next to him.

"Hi." I smiled my biggest, bestest endless-ray-of-sunshine smile. That always makes people smile back.

"…" he closed his book (in which he had been sketching a picture of some guy with long black hair), got up, and walked away.

Naturally, I was stunned. 'Rude much?' I looked after him. My eyes wandered over his (amazing) figure, lingering on a particularly attractive behind… (I had to look hard since he was wearing pants about five sizes too big).

I followed him out of the cafeteria into the residential area. He still wasn't looking at me.

"What's your name, cutie?" he rolled his eyes. "Fine don't tell me. My name's Naruto, by the way." He raised an eyebrow.

"Naruto…Uzumaki?"

"The one and only! Why? Do I know you from somewhere?"

"No…I think your therapist is dating my therapist" and with that, he dug out his room key from a messenger bag he carried, and disappeared into room 38A.

Sorry this was so short…I suffer from chronic writer's block. I'm also sorry it's so badly written…I'll do better next time, I promise!

Flames and constructive criticism are welcomed…..


	3. Chapter 3

Reoccurring Addictions and Parallel Circumstances- ch. 3

It had been a while since I met Naruto. It was a Saturday night and we were sitting on the roof. He was rambling on about something...did the dobe ever shut up? As annoying as he was, he had grown on me. Even if we had only known each other for a few weeks, we hung out almost constantly. I didn't actually like him that much…come to think of it: I didn't like him at all. It was just the company hat I enjoyed.

_Great. My __monophobia stuck me with _this_ idiot…of all people. _(1)

I sighed.

"...And it was just really crazy. So then we…what's the matter, Sasuke?"

I shook my head

"Am I talking too much?"

I nodded.

"Oh, sorry. I do that all the time. Talk too much, I mean. Iruka's always scolding me…oh. Right. Talking too much." He was quiet.

A breeze billowed across the night sky, making us both shiver. We sat in silence far a few minutes, until I got sick of being outside.

"It's cold out here, and it's late…let's watch TV." I pulled Naruto towards the staircase.

We reached the bottom of the stairs and were halfway to the lobby when I realized that he was staring at me like I had two heads.

"What?"

"If you wanted to hold hands with me, you could have just asked."

"Wha-"

I glanced down. Sure enough, I had unconsciously laced my fingers together with his. Monophobia again. I jerked my hand away.

"Sorry. It's a… compulsion."

"Compulsion….Oh, do you have OCD?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I'm monophobic."

"…huh…?"

"Fear of isolation"

"Ohhh."

"Pfft. Dobe."

Naruto looked sad for a moment, then brightened up so fast it was frightening "Hey, I just remembered, and it's the biggest coo-inky-dink, 'cuz I have one of those too! A ffuhhh-"

"Phobia"

"Yea! Anyway, it took me six months to learn how to say it right! I'm Athazagoraphobic!" (2)

"Well that explains that…"

"Explains what?"

"…nothing. I'm going to bed." I turned and headed towards the residential wing of the rehab center. As always Naruto was following me. When I reached my door he was still behind me. "Do you need something?" I turned around.

"I thought you were afraid of being alone?"

"So?"

"So don't you want me to sleep over?" He was grinning like a fool. One of his eyebrows rose.

I narrowed my eyes. "Stop trying to get into my pants."

"Le Gasp!" Naruto stepped back in mock horror, "I would never…!"

"Whatever." I tried to close the door on him

He caught it with his foot and pushed his way through the opening. "I promise, no funny business. Scout's honor" he gave a half-assed salute.

I sighed and let him in. he hopped across the room and seated himself on the bed, bouncing up and down a little.

I went to the bathroom and changed into my pajamas: black boxers and an oversized black t-shirt.

--------------POV switch---------------------

Sasuke came out of the bathroom after about five minutes, and I couldn't help but stare. He was just pulling a black t-shirt down over his abdomen, giving me a glimpse of a flat, pale stomach and girlish hips. My eyes traveled downward toward the dark boxers, my attention caught by a pair of beautiful, slender thighs.

"You can stop staring now"

"But you're so pretty." I grinned.

I saw him tense up, just like he always did when I said something like that. Why wouldn't he believe me?

He walked over and kicked me out of bed, condemning me to the armchair in the corner. I went over, yawning. I didn't have any PJs but I didn't feel like walking back to my room. I flipped the switch next to the chair and made myself comfy. (Or, as comfy as one can get in an armchair)

2 hours later

Sasuke was fast asleep, sprawled out on his back, mouth half open, blanket tangled between his legs. I was in the chair across the room, watching his chest rise and fall. He looked like some sort of god like that: bathed in moonlight, sleeping peacefully, not a care in the world…

Then the nightmare started.

I wondered if he had bad dreams every night, he had had a nightmare every time I stayed in his room overnight. Usually, he would toss and turn, beautiful face twisted in pain, and occasionally beg his unseen attacker to stop…saying that he was sorry….that he would do better next time

But this time was different. This time he cried- I saw the tears twinkling on his cheeks and thought he had woken up, but he was still asleep. He rolled onto his hide and whispered….a name.

"Orochimaru…"

I gasped. Orochimaru…the infamous drug lord and gang leader? I'd heard about him from a few of my friends who were in the business.

"N-no…I-I don't w-want to be alone….." Sasuke practically breathed the words, but I heard them all the same.

I got up and stretched. I padded silently out into the hallway, careful not to wake Sasuke. Once out, I broke into a sprint and ran clear across the center, skidding to a halt in front of a door marked "Resident Psychotherapist". I rapped on the door for a good three minutes before anyone answered. The man standing in the doorway looked exhausted, but expectant.

"Kakashi." I said, breathless, "I got a name."

It's about time I got this up, huh? Well, here's the thing: my computer died and all my filed went poof, then I wrote like five versions of this chapter…I finally chose this one….

Reviews are good! Flames, compliments, and constructive criticism are welcome!

1- Fear of being alone

2-fear of being ignored


	4. Chapter 4

"Kakashi? What are you doing in my room?" I had woken up as soon as the door slammed behind him.

"Who, me? Oh, just saying hello…" Hello my ass. He was up to something.

"Yea, right." I rolled my eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nohing…" I got up and went into the bathroom, closing the door sternly.

"Aaalllrighty, then." Kakashi left the room.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like shit. I was pale, paler than my normal porcelain shade. Sickly pale. My eyes had enormous dark circles under them, intensified by the smudged black eyeliner that I had forgotten to take off.

I stripped and got into the shower stall, turning on the hot water. I looked down at my stomach. I hated my stomach. It was so flat, too flat, and almost concave. I had absolutely no muscles at all. My hipbones protruded making me look even skinnier. I supposed if I ate more, and didn't throw everything up, it would look better.

I looked at my chest. It was even uglier than my stomach, there were cigarette burns, from what seemed like a lifetime ago, all over. Burns and scars, that was my whole upper body.

I turned off the water and dried, trying not to look at myself. I really hated my body. Truly. It was ugly, and used, and worthless.

Kakashi was standing outside the door. "Hey, kid. Wanna talk?"

"What, aren't you going to force me to eat three pounds of French toast or something?" That French toast was disgusting. It tasted like (badly) burnt rubber.

"No, I thought I'd give you a break today. How about that talk?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not really." He smirked his (shit-eating) smirk and pushed off the wall, turning towards his office.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

He's doing that (terribly annoying) thing again. That thing where he doesn't say anything and squats in front of me, holding both my hands in his, and looks up at me over his (horrible) glasses. This was serious. Was he sick? Was he leaving? Did something happen to Naruto? I bet that's it. He wasn't there when I woke up, was he? I bet the dobe wasn't watching where he was going and walked off the roof while hanging out up there this morning. That idiot.

"Sasuke…"

I didn't say anything.

"Who was it?"

I looked out the window.

"Who is this man that you keep drawing?"

I felt sick.

"Sasuke, I need you to talk to me. Please."

Yes. I was going to throw up. I breathed deeply, prying my hands away from my therapist's to place them on the sides of my head.

"Sasuke, just tell me this one thing, then we won't have to talk about this again…" He stroked my hair, trying to calm me down, but I knew what was coming.

"W-was it…Orochima-"

I didn't hear the rest of it. The sound of my labored breathing echoed in my head so loudly that I thought my brain would shake apart. Funny, I was breathing so loudly yet couldn't seem to get any air.

This was impossible. Unacceptable. Horrifying. They-he couldn't know. Not him. He was the only person, the first person who would talk to me. Even when I didn't talk back. Even when I hated him. He was still sitting there in that chair across from me. With me. Now, they would take him away. _He_ would take him away.

"N-n-no…you c-you can't…l-leave…" I was shrieking.

"Shh. I'm here. I'm right here with you."

No. No he wasn't. I couldn't feel him. I couldn't feel him patting my head, or squeezing my hand, or anything. I was in a black abyss. He knew, and they had taken him away. There was nothing. No one.

Until someone smacked me across the face. I came back to the couch with an almost audible 'thump'. There were electric blue eyes boring into mine, and I was being shaken.

"SNAP OUT OF IT, IDIOT! NO ONE'S GOING ANYWHERE!" Uzumake Naruto was screaming at me.

I had never seen him this upset. He wasn't _angry_…he was upset. I could tell. It was rather (completely) unnerving. His blonde hair, which was usually in a soft, beddish looking mop atop his head, was standing up straight in harsh spikes. His eyes looked like ice. But not just any ice. Ice that had been struck by lightning and was still sparking and glowing. He looked beautiful.

This realization alone shocked me further out of my hopeless state, and I was able to find my voice again.

"H-how did you…how…"

" You said it. You were having a nightmare…" Naruto had lost his anger and found a gentle worried look instead. His hand rested limply on my shoulder, while the other one made its way repeatedly through my hair. Since when did Naruto do that?

"But…But you can't know…he'll-you…you can't…" I had lost my voice again.

"He'll what, Sasuke?"

"He'll…he's going to…" I hiccupped, "he's going to take you away…" this wasn't my voice. This was the voice of that nine year old boy that I thought had died…where had his voice been hiding?

"Who told you that, Sasuke? Who did those things to you?"

"O-oro" I was still hiccupping, "Orochimaru" nine-year-old Sasuke whispered so quietly, I didn't think that they heard him.

Apparently they did, because they both let out sighs of what seemed like relief; Kakashi pulled out a tape recorder, pressed stop, took out the tape and put it in his pocket. I felt my eyes bug out of my head, and my heart leap up to somewhere near where that gag reflex thing was. I made a mad grab for the tape.

"NO!" I was screaming again "No! You can't…_he_ cant –"

"Sasuke," Kakashi was holding me still, "he can't get to you. He's not going to take us away. We need this tape to give to the police."

"Police are _useless_." I hissed.

"The police couldn't find any evidence before-"

"Before?! You mean when I was with him! The only time they did _anything_ was after he got bored with me! Convenient for everyone I guess, the force getting a payoff, and that bastard staying out of jail!" I was thundering now, tears streaming down my face.

"I think-…wouldn't you like a rest, Sasuke? To calm down?" Kakashi didn't wait for an answer before he sat beside me and pulled me over. I sat sideways in his lap, my head on his shoulder. He was right, as always. I was just so tired…of everything. I just wanted all this to end. Maybe…maybe the police could do something, and maybe _he _would finally stop haunting my thoughts whenever I was by myself…

I fell asleep, but not before noticing Naruto; he had that same gentle-worried look on from before…


	5. Chapter 5

Sasuke is still asleep…I'm starting to worry.

"He's fine. He's just so stressed out right now… " Kakashi reassured me.

"…" I didn't leave my spot on the couch next to Sasuke, who was curled up against the maroon pillows that littered the sofa, looking scared and helpless, even in his sleep.

The door opened. There stood Iruka, _my_ therapist, with that happy-to-see-you-but-sill-so-worried-I-could-explode look on his face. I swear, that man is going to worry himself to death on of these days.

"Hello, Naruto. Kakashi." He smiled (for real this time, but only glancing around the room to make sure no one (meaning Sasuke) was dead or bleeding, or…whatever), which earned him a peck on the cheek from the spiky-haired man. I chuckled when his face tit up, and he hurriedly, but gently, pushed Kakashi away, muttering, "Kakashi…I haven't told him yet…"

"Oh, please" Kakashi snorted. "He's a big boy, he can handle it. And besides, it's not like Sasu-chan hasn't already told him."

"He'd kill you if he knew you called him that."

"That's why I've waited until he's passed out. Duh."

They laugh together and share and actual kiss, but not with tongue or anything, thank god, while I look back at the sleeping Sasuke on my left.

He looked…distressed. His face was scrunched up, as if he were looking at something horrible…he probably was. I couldn't even imagine. When Kakashi told me that he needed my help, I never thought that it would be with something like this. Of course I said yes…how could I not? Kakashi simply asked for something, _anything_, that would help identify the one who had been hurting him. A reaction to a word or a news story, if he changed the subject when I would talk about a certain place or person. Kakashi didn't go into detail when he described the situation to me...I kind of pieced things together myself after that. It wasn't hard. He had nightmares, horrible and graphic from the sounds of them. He hated me saying anything about how he looked. When people grabbed him suddenly. That was the worst. I once pounced on him in the cafeteria, just joking around, and he was _so_ upset. He stood there, all tense, his face stuck between expressions of fear, anger, and relief (relief that it was only me, I guess). He started hyperventilating, and practically sprinted to the bathroom, where he sat on the floor for about ten minutes before he calmed down.

I just wanted him to be okay. I wanted him to have a good night's sleep. To be able to be by himself sometimes…he _hates_ always having to have someone there. To have to depend on others. I don't blame him.

Sasuke started to whimper in his sleep. His breathing became labored, and his brow creased worriedly. I shook his shoulder gently.

"Sasuke…Sasuke, Wake up." I wanted to wake him before the nightmare got too bad.

He jerked awake, looking around quickly like a kid who'd just lost sight of his parents in a large and crowded market. He seemed to register where he was, and relaxed, if only a little. He sighed, visibly deflating, and let his head drop back onto the armrest.

"What'd you wake me up for? I'm still tired…" Sasuke closed his eyes.

"You were having a nightmare." I rested a hand oh his arm. He still looked shaken.

"Oh…" He was looking at me now, and again, he looked just like a kid…well, his eyes anyway. They lacked the usual coldness, that Sasuke so prided himself on. They had melted into pools of liquid...somehing, shining like the night sky in summertime.

"Sasuke…Are you alright?" there was a look in his eyes, his eyes that were so beautiful, that I couldn't identify. I had never seen that look before…

"Y-Yea…" He looked away again.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A/n

omigawd I'm sooo sorry this chap is so short ( suckish). It's just, I have writer's block, and I think ppl would kill me if I let this thing go any longer without an update, so here it is!

I promise the next one will be better. And longer (maybe).

PS. If you don't understand the title, don't sweat it.

The reoccurring addictions part obviously refers to Sasuke and his drug situation…and the parallel circumstances part will be explained soon! (possibly in the next chap.)


	6. Chapter 6

A/n: thank you reviewers! I love you all! I never say this, but I live on reviews! They are my life energy….

Woohoo! 2447 hits!

Ok, on with the story

"Sasuke…Are you alright?" Naruto looked so worried…

"Y-Yea…" I looked away again.

-.-.--.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I was definitely not alright. Far from it. 

They knew. They all knew. How stupid I had been. How I had let it happen. 

And now…now they would all get hurt. And it was my fault. Maybe _he_ would let me go back with him. Maybe he would leave them alone. I could beg, promise to do whatever he wanted. Anything. Just, please, don't hurt them. 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I lay there on the couch, staring blankly at the ceiling. Why? Why should I even care about them? It was their fault; they were too damn nosy to keep out of other peoples' pasts…the deserved whatever they got. 

_If that's the case, why are you so scared? _That voice in the back of my mind again. 

"I hate you." Even I wasn't sure who I was taking to.

"Sasuke? Did you say something?" Naruto was hovering over me again. Like he always was. Ever since the first time he stayed the night in my room. I had a nightmare that night. From then on, he was always…watching. Not in a creepy way; he would, well, monitor, making sure nothing upset me too much. One of the nurses tried to give me a hug once. He dragged her away before she got within a foot of me. He thought I didn't notice him looking out for me. Stupid kid. 

It was kind of nice, though. I've never had a personal body guard before. 

"Sasuke?" Naruto continued his hovering. 

"Oh. No, it was nothing." I sat up, almost smacking foreheads with Naruto, who jumped back immediately, sitting down next to me. 

"Iruka-sensei…Kakashi-san…could I talk to Sasuke for a while?" 

The two exchanged a glance, then left. 

"Sasuke…" Naruto turned to me. "I know you're scared…but…you have to let people help you. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true. I should know."

I sighed, "What are you talking about, Naruto?"

"I just- I mean…I know you were kidnapped, and, uh, t-that happened to me too."

I looked at the floor, but kept quiet.

"T-this gang…t-they've been after me for…well, for a while now. I…I used to be their errand-boy…and, well, you know…"

"Yea." I never took my eyes off of the floor. 

"It was hard. It _is_ hard. They still haven't shut down the gang…I have no idea weather they even want me back or not…."

"And you think _I_ should be ecstatic for a chance to send…him…to jail." 

"Basically." Naruto sounded a bit guilty. He shouldn't be. But I didn't tell him that.

We sat in silence. 

Then it came. The pressure. It felt like my head would explode, and collapse in on itself at the same time. I took a deep breath, trying to ignore it. Really it was useless. Breathing _never_ worked anyway, and I was in no mood to lie to myself.

I pulled off my shoe, holding it up to my face and squinting into the toe. 

"Sasuke, what-" Naruto made a grab for the shoe, but I pulled away, catching in my palm the sealed plastic baggie that fell out. 

The powder was in my hand and up my nose before the boy sitting next to me could even register what it was. I had never used in front of anyone before; it was a strange feeling…this was sort of a personal thing, and, being a private person, it made me uncomfortable. 

But that really didn't matter right now. I was scared. So much fear. That was something I couldn't deal with. I had been scared all my life, and I was sick of it. 

I felt the familiar sting at the back of my throat, and lay back against the cushions behind me. I heard Naruto run to the door, slam it open, and scream for his Iruka-sensei. I lay fully on the couch, pressing a pillow over my face. 

And then, relief. I wasn't scared anymore. Not at all. I didn't _forget_ that the people I had grown attached to were going to be taken away, or that _he_ was going to find me again. All of that just seemed like a dream, from which I had just woken up.

They all stormed in, Iruka screaming. "Naruto, what happened? You were right here with him!"

"I'm sorry…I-I didn't realize…" 

My pillow was ripped away, the maroon in front of my eyes replaced with Kakashi's glasses. Well, his face was there too, but my mind could only register the glasses. 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A/n: wow, sorry for making you wait so long. I don't really have an excuse this time…(sorry!)

Well…next chap…Naruto' past! (Or at least that's what I'm planning)


	7. Chapter 7

A/n: READ THE A/N AT THE END OF THIS CHAP!

They all stormed in, Iruka screaming. "Naruto, what happened? You were right here with him!"

"I'm sorry…I-I didn't realize…" I stuttered.

Dr. Kakashi ripped the maroon pillow away from Sasuke, shaking him. He didn't respond. I knew that he couldn't be that high already…that he was just faking. Still, it was terrifying.

Why did it all have to be this way? Why is his life so fucked up? Why is my life so fucked up? Can't God or Allah or Buddha or whoever the hell living in the sky granting wishes give guys like us a break for once?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

My whole life, until I came to this place, has been sort of blur. I lived alone, on the streets. I don't remember much from that time. I remember being hungry, and sometimes cold. I lived like that, in alleys and behind restaurants, until my birthday. I forget witch one it was…seventh, maybe. But I know it was my birthday. I never forget my birthday. After my birthday, I met someone. A few someones, actually. They were all friends, I guess. They took me to live with them in an abandoned office building that they had 'renovated'. It was fun there. I learned to cook for them, and me and another boy cooked all of the meals after I gained some skills. He wasn't a 'boy' exactly, he was older than me, but he acted like a kid. Tobi would goof off and make drums out of pots and pans, just like I did. We had fun together. He was my first real friend. I lived there for about three birthdays, and then _he_ came. Kisame told me I had to leave him alone, leave him to his thought, since his partner had just died. That's why he came back. He was in mourning. I knew he wasn't though. It was a lie, a trick. Just like everything else that had to do with him. He was a demon. One of the demons of my past that came back to haunt me. I was sure of it. He wanted for me to suffer, more than anything. That's why he did _that_ to me.

I told them, all of them, that he was bad, but they ignored me. They didn't even look at me.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

"_T-Tobi…"_

_He said nothing._

"_Tobi-hey!" _

_He didn't even look at me. They had all stopped looking at me, talking to me. They all were ignoring me. Ever since _that_ happened. They knew. And they didn't care. They hated me for it. _

_We sat in silence for a long, long time._

"_Tobi, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…I didn't want him to…Tobi!"_

_He was walking away from me. _

"_I just want you to look at me…Tobi…" I had disappeared. Thye couldn't even see me anymore._

"_What makes you think he wants to look at something like _you_?" He was back. Here to torture me again._

"_They know what you are. They know what you did. You're disgusting. No one even wants to be near you anymore. You are nothing to them. No one." _

"_No one…" I repeated…trying to understand what he meant._

_He sneered at me_.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

I later realized that he was taking out his anger on me. He had been hurt. His lover (I did not understand at the time that Sasori was, indeed, Deidara's lover) had been killed. Murdered. He had probably threatened the other members of the group to keep them away from me. He had hurt and isolated me, in order to watch me suffer. I knew that now. Iruka helped me understand what had happened. The fear of being shunned lingered. Always there, around the edges of my consciousness. I had learned to live with it, though. Bad things happened, but it was in the past. I try not to think about the fact that the Akastuki might still be looking for their runaway. Consuming large amounts of alcohol usually does the trick. If not that, then weed, or, in extreme (and very rare) cases, acid.

I can't say I forgive him for what he did, but I guess I understand why. It helped a lot, understanding.

Then I met Sasuke. He was like me. It didn't take me long to realize that his past was so much darker, so much more painful than mine had been. Our situations seem similar: kidnapped, used, escaped, and addicted. But there was so much more to it. So hard to put into words.

I can deal with my demons, more or less. My pain was caused by another's pain, and a slip from sanity because of that pain.

Sasuke was the victim of a truly sick man. A man who hurt just for the sake of hurting. No reason, logic, or provocation needed. And now, Sasuke had the weight of his friends, his family on his shoulders. He thought we were going to die. He though Orochimaru was going to kill us, and take him back.

I can't do anything to help him. I can tell him that everything will turn out fine. I can tell him there's nothing to worry about. But would that be a lie? Were we really in danger?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Saasuke lay on one of the flat, uncomfortable infirmary beds, still but for the irregular rise and fall of his chest and he occasional twitch. It had been about forty-five minutes since the scene in Kakashi's office. Naruto sat in a chair at Sasuke's bedside, while both his and his friends' guardians spoke in hurried, hushed voices on the other side of the white curtain around the bed. _I let this happen to him._

Naruto sighed and held my head in both hands.

Then, he decided. No matter what, come hell, high water, or barely-sane gang leaders, he would protect Sasuke. He would protect Iruka, and Kakashi. He would do everything he could to protect the ones he loved.

--

A/n: I know… it took me SOOO long to update. Please don't yell at me, but if you must, then go ahead. I deserve it.

(i actually have no idea how a person who has OD'ed on cocaine looks like, and i dont know how long it takes to get all...well, like that, so dont be mad of the facts are wrong...)

READ THISI really think, for the sanity of the readers, and to keep myself from being flamed to death, I should discontinue the story. This is the only multi-chapter fic I've done, and now you see why I only used to write oneshots. I SUCK at updating. That's just the kind of person I am. ( -.-' ) Comment and tell me what you think. Can you live with waiting, like, a month for new chapters?


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